My friend’s wife "Cindy" is dying. She has about threemonths to live. They call it an environmental cancer: no familyhistory, no genetic reason for this horrific sentence. Somethingalong her path of life caused a few cells to go bad. So soon “Tim”and his three daughters will be navigating life without a wife andmother.

Tim is my friend, but he has also been my client for18 years. His father was one of my father's clients, so wehave had a long history with the family, as with many of ourclients. We simply take care of things. We meet toreview, we manage their risk and as their needs change, we makeadjustments.

Tim owns an automotive repair shop. A couple of years ago,his claims history was pretty poor so we had to move him toa high-priced program. If an insurance company sees atrend of increased losses, it's not uncommon to have to go to ahigher-risk carrier for a time until the claims activity settlesdown.

For the past two years, Tim has been paying a few thousand morethan in previous years, but keep in mind his carrier had paid about$75,000 for various claims over a two-year period. Tim’straditional annual premiums were around $15,000. After themove we had him about $22,000 which lasted for twoyearsTi'

Tim's renewal was coming up. I was using social media tokeep up with his wife’s progress. His last Facebook poststated that the doctors had done all they could do and thathospice would be called in.

Around this time, Tim sent me a note asking about the upcomingterm. Should we meet to review? My reply was no, takecare of your family, I’ll take care of this.

In fact, we were already taking care of “this.” Tim's accounthad been shopped to six carriers, and we had found a standard homefor his business once again and were back to his “normal"pricing.

I said that if he needed me to come to his house on aSaturday to review, I could swing by. Under the circumstances Ithought it best that I manage this for Tim as he was spending hislast few months with Cindy.

Tim texted me that he would like to see what we were ableto do for him and asked that I drop off a summary. I did andthe next day he ordered loss runs. No surprises -- every fewyears, Tim gets an alternate quote, but under the circumstsances, Ifound this a little perplexing.

My partner Ronn has a large motor home that he uses Tim’sshop to maintain. A few days ago when Ronn was at Tim'sshop, Tim confided that he was very upset with me. Maybe I hadoutgrown his account and Ronn should take over.

Ronn told him that garage insurance was not his specialty,that I was the best agent for Tim's account, and that he knew I hadbeen working for Tim behind the scenes.

Tim swore Ronn to secrecy about his comments and told him he wasgetting another quote, but that he didn’t really want to move theaccount.

This Tuesday, Ronn got a call from Tim that thecompetitor's quote was $1,500 less than ours. Ronn told him tohold tight, he wanted to talk to me first. So I stopped by Ronn'shouse that night.

The story he told broke my heart. Tim's perception ofmy management of his account was that I was no longer payingattention to him. I didn’t want to take the time to see himand I was not working to keep his insurance costs incheck.

The reality, or maybe my perception, was that I was allowing himfamily time. I had worked his account as we work all accounts,had successfully returned his premium to standard rates, and wouldsimply take care of the change as I had many times in the past.

I thought the last thing Tim would want was to meetwith an insurance provider, but that is exactly what hewanted. In hindsight, I realize now that Tim wanted adistraction. He wanted to keep busy.

Ronn and I visited Tim’s shop and had a heart-to-heart inhis office. With tears in his eyes he told me he thought I hadbecome too busy for his account. He had been concerned abouthis insurance for the last three months, but I had not advised himabout our plans. He questioned if we were even doinganything.

I apologized, explained my strategy and told him that that myactions arose from my perception that he didn’t want tomess with insurance at a time like this -- that I would, as Ihad in the past, simply take care of it.

After a few minutes, he said, "OK, let’s do this, but answer mehonestly: Are you too busy for me, or is our account too small foryou?"

I looked him I the eye and said, “Tim, you are myclient. My book of business is made up of guys just like you,some big some small, but I’ll never be nor have I ever been toobusy for you.”

The business meeting was over and for the next 45 minutes Timtalked about his wife’s deterioration and eventual move tohospice. It was a gut-wrenching conversation.

This has been one of my greatest lessons. At a time ofgreat anguish and pain, some people need a distraction. Myapproach of texting Tim and providing support through words was notenough. Tim perceived my handling of the matter as meaningthat I didn’t care when in my mind, I was taking something offTim’s plate that would allow him more time with his wife.

My experience with Tim should serve as a reminder that evencommercial insurance is a very personal business.