Michel De Saint-Pierre wrote, “An optimist may see a light wherethere is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow itout?”

Saint-Pierre wrote The Aristocrats (a 1956 award-winning Frenchnovel, not to be confused with The Aristocats, made famous by WaltDisney). Honestly, I know nothing about him, but his reminder ispriceless, isn't it?

Do you know people like this? People who can't wait to blow outyour light? They seem to relish the opportunity, don't they? Theirmotto: I'm not happy until you're not happy.

I bet you'll be spending a Thursday afternoon this month with atleast one of them. Because your mother gave you the look when yousuggested you might not make it this year, what with openenrollments and all. You knew it wouldn't work, but you had totry.

Because outside of Thanksgiving, how much time do you spend withthose people?

Exactly. Doesn't take long to give them the ole “you're dead tome,” does it? When you're creating a new world you don't have timefor those people.

But try to wrap your brain around this: What if you live withthat person? What if that person is you? And as bad as it is to bethat person to yourself, imagine how crappy it is to be that personto your kids.

In The Tinderbox Tapes, I wrote about “doing it different.” Andif we're gonna do it different, we have to consider where we'vedone it wrong up 'til now. My wife and I consistently tell our boys(15, 11 and 9 years old) that as they grow up they should do whatthey believe God put them here to do—even if mom and dad don't getit.

That's a tough one for parents because we want what we think isbest for our kids. And we think we know best what career path orcourse of study or extracurricular activities they should choose.But here's the thing: It's their dream, not ours.

For example: About the only thing I can tell my 15-year-old isto choose what he's passionate about and never consider whether itpays well. If he's good at it, the money will come. If he's not, hecan adjust. But if he chooses something for the money, he'll end uppulling a Thelma & Louise when he's 40.

In our zeal to create our own new world, let's remember that ourkids will want to create one of their own and it might not be theone we choose for them—just as ours isn't necessarily the one ourparents chose for us.

So let's do it different today by not being that guy—or girl—tothose around us, especially our kids. Let's tend those flamesinstead of rushing to blow them out. Otherwise, we may never knowwhat astounding possibilities lie in our office, our association,and in our very own house.