How frustrating is it to work on a prospect, really put yourheart and soul into the client, and then not get the business? Howmaddening is it to be told, "I really like you, but..." or "Ireally appreciate your work, but..." or "There just wasn't enoughof a price difference for us to make a change"? The mostfrustrating thing about these examples is that the prospects putyou into a box labeled "peddler" or "insurance salesman" or"vendor." In fact, in this instance there are a lot of categoriesthe prospect can use to describe you. Unfortunately, very few ofthem are flattering.

I recently visited with a close friend of mine, who is 78 andone of the most respected insurance and risk management consultantsin Houston. He built a very successful insurance agency over a40-year period, and then left that agency to became a consultant.When I asked him what was the biggest difference between consultingwork and his career as an agent and agency leader, the first wordout of his mouth was "respect."

I think we would all admit that our most ideal relationships areones where our clients view us in the same category as their CPA,banker or attorney. We are a trusted advisor. So how do we get thispoint across to our prospects?

Let's begin with the fact that our industry causes the veryproblem we are trying to avoid. As you know (and if you do notbelieve me, ask any of your clients), approximately 90 days beforetheir expiration date, prospects begin getting besieged by phonecalls from insurance peddlers asking, "May I bid your insurance?"or "Are you going out for bids on your insurance this year?" Inother words, the prospects receive reinforcement every year that weare in the bid business; that our work product is a commodity andthe best program for their company can be determined by putting itout for bids. They learn to equate an insurance agent with abid.

You see the results of this when you make a call on a prospectand they say, "We are getting bids this year from three agents." Weput ourselves in the wrong box when prospects invite us to be oneof the bidders, and we agree to do so. We become excited about whata great sales call or cold call we just had. The truth is, this isnothing to get excited about. You just joined the ranks of thepeddlers who are in that box.

Here is the truth. If you act like a vendor, you will gettreated like a vendor. If you sound like all the other insurancevendors, you will get treated like all the other insurance vendors.If you conduct business like an insurance vendor, you have noreason to expect any different respect than all of the otherinsurance vendors.

So how do you get out of the box where all of the vendors,peddlers, shiny shoe salesmen, used car dealers and snake oilsalesmen live? Follow these steps.

? Sound different

Professional salespeople don't sound like peddlers. We are allabout the prospect and client. What are their concerns? What aretheir issues? What keeps them up at night? How can you and yourcompany make their job easier? You are not there to talk aboutinsurance. You are there to understand what they need and want fromtheir risk management and agent relationship. If you begin with,"Let me tell you about my company," you are off on the wrong foot.You need to be all about them.

If you really want to sound different, try this. When callingsomeone for an appointment and they offer you the opportunity tobid, say "Mr./Ms. Prospect, I very much appreciate the offer, butquite frankly I really no more need practice bidding than you needpractice reading bids. However, I would love to meet with you andsee if there is another reason for us to do business together otherthan just bidding." I will tell you from experience this works.Those who say no were just looking for bidders, anyway. Those whosay yes, which in my experience is about 90 percent of the time,are truly interested in meeting for reasons other than price andyou have just broken out of the box.

2. Look different

There is a lot of pressure to "dress to the client." If they arecasual, you are casual. If they wear a coat and tie, you wear acoat and tie. The correct approach to this issue is to dress to theimage you want to have. If you want to be treated as aprofessional, then look the part. Do not dress to the client, dressone notch above the client. If you were on trial for your life andyou were interviewing attorneys and you could not talk to any ofthem but had to select your attorney based on his appearance, wouldyou go with the unshaven attorney in the jeans and polo shirt, theattorney with the tattoos, scruffy haircut, slacks, button-downshirt and sport coat--or the well-groomed attorney with the nicesuit and tie? I am not saying any one of these three people is morelearned and skilled than any of the others, but I am sayingappearances count.

3. Be different

Are you on time for the appointment? Is your BlackBerry or phoneturned off--not on vibrate? When it goes off, do you glance down tosee who it is, or do you treat the prospect like he is the mostimportant person to you? Do you spend the time asking himquestions, or do you spend your time waiting for your turn to talk?When the prospect makes statements, do you excitedly tell him howyou can fix the issue, or do you spend more time asking morequestions so you can truly understand how he or she feels about theissue? Do you speak in insurance lingo to impress them, or do youspeak their language to better communicate with them? Try this onyour next appointment: see how long you can go before you even usethe word "insurance." If you are successful in keeping this wordfrom coming out of your mouth (they can say it all they want), thenI promise your prospect just had a very unique experience inmeeting with you.

Remember, your goal is to break out of the box our prospects putus in. It is a box that is prepared by our competition and industryand that you're automatically stuck into. Your job is to break out,and to do that you have to sound, look and be different thaneveryone else in that box.